Stag Do

Before it gets too far from my memory (not that I'd ever forget it properly) I wanted to recap on my stag do before any of the little details fall out of my brain what with the wedding approaching like a bullet train to keep me occupied.

I had the most awesome time with the guys, so if any of you are reading, THANK YOU, IT WAS BRILLIANT!

I have discovered a few things about myself over the course of the stag do. One of those would be that I definitely suck at go-karting, I only developed the killer instinct for attempting to overtake people when i was trying in vain to catch Iain for that precious 3rd place in the "B" final. Div destroyed us all with cornering like Schumacher, even if it was Ralf rather than Michael! This was an amazing start to the proceedings even if Chris did give it away when phoning up as we were lost after the guys successfully keeping it a secret for weeks and weeks ("Yeah hi, we're booked in for the racing at 12 O'Clock...") - Smooth Chris!

The cottage we stayed in was amazing, cottage doesn't do it justice, it was more like a cottage-mansion! A great find by the lads with some amazing views, barely a soul for miles and miles around and quite breathtaking when you looked out over the hills.

That was only the beginning, as over the course of Saturday I proceeded to get shot, forced to run starkers and was then paddled and placed on a dog leash in a venue containing "adult entertainment" before finishing an awesome day off at quite a good club, the name of which escapes me!

If you have never been paintballing before, I thoroughly recommend it. Even if you happen to be wearing half a clown costume to make you somewhat recognisable for most of the games! What I also recommend is that if it happens to be your stag do, make sure one of the party isn't leaving early, otherwise you might be subjected to what happened to me because of Tom needing to get home a bit early. I was told to run from approximately 30 meters away straight towards Tom while he shot at me. This was ok until I got within about 10 feet, then I was mercelessly pummelled and destroyed, much to the amusement of all.

As I fully expected, at the end of the afternoon there was the traditional "hunt the stag". However, it was also hunt the best man, so Dave reluctantly joined me to face down the rest of the lads whilst attempting to defend the top of the hill (Cheers dude, its times like that you really find out who your friends are!). I lost count of the amount of times we were shot in the Head/Stomach/Chest/Balls, although we did pretty good until the end when Lee got behind me and Pete got round the side of Dave, that was painful. Luckily the marshall didn't let it go on TOO long. It was worth it to see all the guys turn on each other when the Marshall announced a "Free For All". Everyone paused for about 2 seconds, then unleashed on each other, it was hilarious. No-one was too badly wounded apart from Div who is still sporting a nasty mark on his hand as I type this from getting shot at point blank range, nevertheless fantastic times had by all.

After the good times in the club, we were all introduced to "The ministry of 100% pain (tm)". All I can say is, thank god we were near a kebab shop so I could buy food but more importantly the 2 cans of diet coke it took to put out the fires in my mouth and around my face. Everyone else suffered similarly, once me and Chris had been ambushed it was obvious what was coming so people were allowed either to "suicide it", or be pinned down and forced into it (suicide every time). Div managed to escape as he'd unfortunately gone home ill, I can't remember if we actually ever got him to join the ministry of 100% pain, someone needs to enlighten me, I think we did lol.

All in all, a most wonderful weekend was rounded off by me having to purchase gay mags at the service station on the way home, and we finished up in Sparrows, our good old students union to watch Man Utd win the Carling Cup against the Y*ds, good times all round, thanks again lads!!